In July 2023, I began to think about how, as caregivers and in support of loved ones with health challenges, we tend to forgo our personal care, in the process, at times.
With that in mind, I wanted to share some of the steps I've been taking, and what should caregivers monitor as a form of self-care - and learning to practice more consistently to bring myself back into balance. Yes, it is all about self-care on yet another level.
We might think this topic has been talked about too much in recent years. Still, the reality is, if we were actively and consistently putting it to practice, it wouldn't call to us in the way it does - including the habit of rolling our eyes and emotional reactions of guilt, anger, frustration, and even boredom, lethargy, or avoidance.
It serves us to move from "knowing" intellectually to taking action and demonstrating how to apply self-care. Making a conscious decision to take a step and following through as though our life depended upon it. And it does. Without the deliberate care of our mind, body, spirit (general attitude), and emotions, the body system will deteriorate and break down, becoming more susceptible to ill health and dis-ease. We have a choice within our reach now and available to our specific, individualized needs.
I have been utilizing a combination of different tools, sometimes at alternating times, in various orders, or as needed. We each have to practice being self-aware enough to know when and what to work with and willingness to experiment and then practice. Using life-affirming motivation that tells us that we want to feel better inside and out, as well as be clear and confident enough to address whatever arises daily.
In no specific order, I have implemented the following:
Biofield Therapies: EFT/Tapping, chakra (energy centers) clearing, tuning, alignment and mantras, Qigong, Reiki, and Spirit-Led energy identification and movement (clearing). Some of these elements are also incorporated within the Body-Wise™ and Soul-Wise™ integrative methods.
Mindful Wellness: Walking, exercising (I prefer routines through "Fabulous 50s", Yin Yoga, Stretching, Balance exercises, Trauma-Informed Yoga (slower movement with an invitational approach and alternative positions), intuitive eating - food as nourishment that is enjoyed, versus as a means to hide difficult emotions. Eating consciously while reducing the judgment of self and about food. Improved habits that invoke quality rest and sleep.
Obtaining and implementing healthy support and activities: Joining a support group for caregivers and support to family members with disabilities, mental health, and aging and ill, getting therapy, counseling, or coaching to manage stress (alongside using one's own tools), participating in spiritual practices within a like-minded community, group, or organization, and utilizing the various support services that come with the healthcare and treatment of the family member.
In the case of my family member, the process has been meeting with a medical social worker to obtain referrals and supportive care in more in-home assistance, a visiting nurse, discussing what is needed with the Doctor(s), and Coordination Nurses for better management of their appointments, follow-up care, etc.
It is of value, in any case, to let yourself feel what emotions arise, even the uncomfortable ones, and listen to what thoughts are coming up behind the emotions. This is how you work through them, allowing them to pass without suppressing them and creating more hardship, confusion, and illness in your mind and body. When we do this for ourselves more consistently, we are leading by example. It is our human nature to learn and practice what we see others doing and practicing than to listen to incessant words spoken to us, about us, or over us.
That is why I prefer to have folks use practical applications with guidance in the tools and services I offer. Using talk therapy alone is not that effective for me. Many I've worked with, or people I know, have felt the same way.
Learning through personal experience makes something new, intimately understood, appreciated, and integrated into our own lifestyles. Personal awareness always provides more choices in areas we would assume otherwise.
May your moments, days, and weeks be blessed with love, joy, insight, inspiration, fun, and abundance.
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This is a reprint from a personal note in the July 2023 Soulful Living & Wisdom Periodical, written by Josephine Sheppard.
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